


Glass Heart

by hongy



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Cheating, Crying, Drinking, Eventual Happy Ending, F/M, Incest, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Near Death Experiences, Not Happy, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Overdosing, POV Cersei, POV Second Person, Rape, Self-Harm, Sibling Incest, Smoking, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Tags Contain Spoilers, Therapy, Triggers, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Unhealthy Relationships, Unplanned Pregnancy, somewhat out of character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-05-30
Packaged: 2020-03-02 21:38:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18819508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hongy/pseuds/hongy
Summary: Her heart was made of glass, it seemed as if it were smashed against the floor on several occasions, then pieced back together once again. She wonders, who would pick up the rest of her pieces if she were to take the fall?(The story is set in modern-day Westeros. Cersei is in her twenties, involved in an unhealthy marriage in which she has no desire to be committed to.)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This story will progressively get darker as it continues, please be aware of the triggers mentioned in the tags. I will include warnings in the note section at the start of a new chapter if need be. Thank you for reading. Kudos and comments are more than appreciated on this work. Have a nice day.

 

 

 

 

 I

 

 

 

 You were married at the age of twenty-six, that being an unhealthy relationship from the start. You, in fact, did not love him. Instead, you loved your brother. You tried your best to keep yourself together as you looked your husband up and down, your green eyes scanning along his face and scarred hands, and finally away back to the open balcony, looking down upon the view beneath you. 

 

He hummed, running his hands along the sides of your hips as you tightened your grip against the railing.

 

 _One fall,_ you thought.  _One fall and it will all be over._

 

For a brief moment, you contemplated what life would be like after taking a fall from the balcony; your head making a rather disturbing contact with the ground as it split open in such a violent manner. "Are you happy?" You decide to remain silent for a moment before speaking up. You found that answers were most difficult to come up with whilst being this uncomfortable. "I am." You did not know what you meant when giving this sort of response. Truth be told that this was not indeed what you had in mind. You'd only been married for a short period of time and already forcing yourself to push aside the thought of a divorce.  _What more is there to come in the following years?_ The question repeats itself in your head, seeming to have a neverending loop.

 

The night seemed to have gotten increasingly worse by the minute, and soon enough you found yourself laying in bed with him. Fighting against the rapid beat of your heart, you'd try your best to enjoy what little bits and pieces you can find of this most dreadful experience. Reality was rather _dreadful_ once you came to terms with the fact that you wouldn't be laying in bed with your brother as you would like to be. 

 

So, you pull away from his tightened grip, turn on your side, and close your eyes falling into a deep slumber, one you wish would never come to an end. 

 

When you woke, the sun was there, so was Robert, your husband. Upon this realisation, your heart seems to give a hopeless jerk in your chest, your brain deciding that things will never change, there will never be an end to this sort of misery. Marriages are supposed to be gleeful, rather yours is quite sad; pathetic, and there is no knowing as to how it shall come to an end. You sigh. Robert pressed his lips together and raised his eyebrows in an expression that spoke the truth.  _'You're not really satisfied, are you?'_ "Keep yourself together," he says. You looked at him and noticed that there was something at work that your head could not comprehend. "May I just... have a brief moment to myself? I think... I think this is all happening too fast, all at once." From the lack of emotion casting over his features, you could very well tell that he had no interest in what you had to say. "Off with you then."

 

 

⋆┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⋆

 

 

Your blood ran hotter at the feel of a moist filter tip between your lips. Smoke filling your lungs and you feel a slight sense of relief even as your actions can be deemed as 'unhealthy,' and, 'pathetic.' That doesn't stop you, nothing does. Around your legs, your long dress danced, blown away by the touches of the summer breeze. You run your hand through your long lokes of blonde hair, the hair your mother had adored, the hair your brother would braid for you out of love. You decide that you'll never cut it, it'll always be a part of you. Growing lonely, you decide to visit your brother, speak to him of your unfortunate marriage. Thinking of it, marriage shouldn't get in the way of love. Screw it, none of it is of any importance to you after all, so why bother? 

 

Your heart leaped inside your chest as you park your car in his driveway. You inhale the cool air as you knock on his door, waiting for it to be opened upon your arrival. You frown as he opens the door. A bottle to his lips as he takes in the remnants of the drink. However, he manages a smile once he lowered the bottle, setting it aside on the wooden platform. "Jaime, I've missed you." He takes your hand. In the background, the sounds of traffic suddenly become muted, nothing else matters, just the two of you; the two of you  _alone._

 

Jaime adjusts his posture and places his hands over your now bare chest. Your mind feels as if it has suddenly gone completely blank as the familiar comfort of his presence brings you back to life once more. He looks up at you, lips suddenly twisting into a cheerful smile. "I've missed you too." You close your eyes and relax, letting this wonderful sensation wash over you as you seem to forget everything that's occurred over the past few days with your god awful husband. 

 

Minutes turn into hours and before you could notice, the day was already beginning to come to an end.  _I don't ever want to leave your side... I have no desires to return back home. Please, let me stay._ It suddenly seemed as if he'd read your mind. "Stay with me." And so you do. 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Readers, be aware of the minor self-harm mention.

 

 

 

 

II

 

 

 

Your heart hurts for whatever reason upon entering the bedroom you and your husband share. The curtains are in ruins, the bedsheets reek of not only cheap perfume but alcohol as well. You figure, what else could possibly go wrong in this cursed marriage? He moves from your bed, making his way over to you with the nastiest and most frightening scowl on his face that you've ever seen.  _This feeling...what is this feeling?_ **Fear.** Fear as he raises his hand. Fear as his hand collides with your face as he calls you a filthy whore. You land on your knees, tears beginning to spring from your eyes like the  _coward_ that you are. Eventually, the two of you move back to the bedroom, your face still wet with tears as he calls you a whore once again, screaming at you to stop shaking. You bite down on your lip, hard, the metallic taste of blood filling your mouth and it  _hurts._

 

You starve yourself for two days after that.

 

 

 

⋆┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⋆

 

 

 

By the end of the week, bandages cover your hands and face, bruises littering your legs as you struggle to bring yourself up from bed. You smoke more than you usually do that day, which comes to you as a sense of relief. Robert announces his temporary departure, you say a silent prayer of gratitude as he's now on his way to a business trip. You are now alone, but that is only for a short period of time as you tighten your grip against your phone, shaking as you type the words  _'I'm coming home'_ before sending the message to your brother.

 

Jaime opens the door after you've knocked on it several times, and he lets out a gasp when he sees you. He practically yanks you inside, and you hug him whilst crying at the same time, say it all happened too fast, this wasn't what you wanted...you just want it to stop. Tears break out in a flood and he kisses your neck, promising that everything will be okay. Soon enough the two of you are on top of each other, he's sucking at your lips, pressing with his tongue. At some point, you swear you thought you tasted a small amount of blood in your mouth, but it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter because he's your brother and you love him more than you'll ever love anyone else, even if it is deemed as a crime, or just wrong in general, that doesn't stop you, nothing ever will. 

 

However, something just doesn't feel right. You ask him to stop, he doesn't. Your words are nothing to him as he forcefully tightens his grip against your bony wrist, but you push against him, and he falls backwards, colliding with a bookshelf which has been bolted into the wall. You release a small gasp as there was no harm done but you've come to the realisation that you've completely destroyed the little moment of time the two of you just shared. You're hysterical, trying to piece yourself together as you help him up from the floor. He reaches out a hand towards your face, cupping your cheek tenderly, whilst apologising and promising that there is nothing to feel sorry about, that it was him not you. Your heart hurts more than it did before, but he's still by your side so mayhaps things will be alright. If it were Robert, this behaviour would certainly not be tolerated, so you're grateful to have Jaime. 

 

Later that evening Jaime goes out to pick up a bottle of wine which would be shared by the two of you and the two of you alone later that evening. You break down and cry, feeling a familiar sensation of loneliness tug at your heart. It's raining, hard, and you can't help but laugh at how much the weather outside really corresponds with the way you're feeling. You choke back a profitless sob and pull a knife out from the kitchen drawer. You really can't fight back the urges to destroy yourself bit by bit as you shut your eyes and drag it across your left wrist, crying as you do so. You nearly faint at the sight of your own warm blood trickling down the remainder of your untouched forearm as you open your eyes once again. It hurts, but the pain is nowhere as near as close to the way Robert's made you feel the past few days. The last bit of sanity you have breaks, so you take the implement, clutching it tightly in your hand as you move to the bathroom locking yourself in it as you drag it along your wrist a good several times ignoring whatever voices in your head begging you to stop.  _You don't though._ That's the thing about you, no one can  _ever_ get you to stop doing something once your mind is set. 

 

Jaime arrives home about an hour later, calling for you as the faint sound of a wine bottle being popped open can be heard from the bathroom near the kitchen. You're shaking, desperately trying your best to pull yourself together as you put your hand over your mouth in a pathetic attempt to muffle your broken sobs. Your attempt was as nearly useless as you are because he hears you anyway. The door swings open, tears fall from your eyes and he reassures you that things will be okay once you've received help. You force yourself up from the cold tile, out of the house and into his car. Apparently, you'd be needing stitches with the excessive damage done to your wrist, which stopped hurting ages ago, but it was decided that you'd get it examined anyway. He buckles his belt, sitting next to you and turns the ignition. You follow the trees moving next to you, turning into a blur of different shapes and sizes. The two of you shortly then arrive at the hospital, where you're forced to undergo twenty-four hours of observance once your wrist is fixed once again. 

 

Upon your release, you tell your brother how sorry you are. "You should never have to be sorry with me, I love you no matter the circumstances." You decide not to question his choice of words, and go along with whatever he tells you, genuine or not. These moments were the most precious ones to you, you'd feel free. God, you loved him, no one else mattered. 

 

Yet, you knew the two of you were not meant to last. Jaime silenced your moments of paranoia with his lips being pressed against yours. 

 

For the time being, you were satisfied.

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please share with me your opinions so far. Feedback is what matters most! 
> 
> Thanks for reading. :-)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for rape.

 

 

 

 

 

III

 

 

He tells you to let him fuck you. You refuse. You're then yanked off the bed by the hair, whimpering in pain when there is an added slap to your face. You clutch your chest, looking up at your assaulter- your husband. "S-s-so tiiiired of theeese bloody whoreees," the man slurs whilst grabbing ahold to your still damaged wrist. You sob. He screams. You scratch. He hits, hits where it hurts most shortly before ripping your clothes off your precious body. You beg, but he doesn't listen. You use whatever remaining strength you have in an attempt to push away from him, but your strength is nothing compared to the man. He continuously slaps you, you're positive you can taste blood in your mouth as you try to pull away from him once again. You whimper as he pins your wrists above your head effectively immobilizing you. You feel his member pressing against you and in it goes. He puts his entire weight on you nearly bringing you to a point of suffocation with his weight. You're flipped over, hands clawing at your chest, his tongue against yours and you wait for the right moment to attack and make your move. When you finally get the chance, you hit him where it hurts, running away as fast as possible once he releases your wrist. You're fast, but not fast enough. Unfortunately, he's caught up to you. 

 

Here you are, naked, alone and afraid. 

 

No matter how much you beg, no matter how much you cry, he hits you anyway. Your face makes a rather violent interaction with the cold tile on the ground beneath you, and you gasp as you notice a lower tooth, originally located in the back of your mouth, has been knocked out. Robert looks down at you with a frightening look on his face which clearly indicates that the night will go on longer than planned, oh how  _enjoyable._

 

It's five in the morning once he's finished, and afraid doesn't even begin to cover how you feel before starring yourself in the mirror. Your face has cuts and bruises beginning to form on it, your hair, matted, a disgustingly atrocious liquid covering small portions of it. Scratch marks litter your back and you cry. You cry as you've never cried before, wishing you were dead. You just want to put an end to it, simple as it sounds, correct? But it's so much more than just that. You'd be leaving behind your brother and you  _needed_ him nearly as much as he needed  _you._   _Stay alive, just for him._ Instead, you drag a dangerously sharp bade across the inner portion of your forearm.  _Drip, drop. What do you fight for?_

 

_Him,_ _it's him._

 

_You're not depressed._

 

_Everything will be alright._

 

_You're just adjusting._

 

 

Adjusting... but was a marriage supposed to be  _this_ abusive? Suppose you'd always picture your marriage to be a tad bit  _too_ sugar coated. You just wanted to be happy, you just wanted to be loved. A real shame that it is that you're turning to your brother for that type of affection rather than your husband. But what can you do? Your body is covered with bruises and cuts, hair ripped out from the back of your scalp. You're a  _mess,_ there's nothing more to that.

 

 

 

 

⋆┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄┄⋆

 

 

 

 "Again?" 

 

"Again."

 

 

You're now at your brother's house and he's already noticed the marks scattering across the inner portion of your forearm. He tells you he's sorry and you break down and sob.  _I hate him. I want to rip him to shreds, I want to paint the walls with his blood, I want him dead. He's not my husband he's a monster. He's spoiled everything, but I suppose it's my fault since I've gone along with it all. Why do I refuse to listen, I'm going to die alone in this godforsaken world due to my stubbornness._

 

"Cersei, look at me."

 

You're unable to comply and find yourself staring down, unresponsive.  

 

"I want him  _dead._ " 

 

You sigh as Jaime places his hands tightly around your hips, squeezing shortly before leading you over to the bedroom. You're soon on top of each other, exhaling through your nose as you move yourself up and down, member already placed inside you. You moan. Hard. Your breasts bouncing up and down, sweat dribbling down the back of your neck. Pleasure. This was all pleasure you could never gain whilst being with your godawful husband. These _emotions_ , they felt _genuine_ , they weren't forced as they were with Robert, and you made sure you enjoyed every moment of it. You'd _kill_ someone if this were ever take away from you. You, Cersei Lannister, were now fucking your own brother. Even the biggest of red flags couldn't stop you, couldn't warn you that something was wrong. 

 

You'll eventually come to your senses, you'd just have to find out things the hard way; the unfortunate way, whether you like it or not. 

 

 

_You're pregnant._

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Please share your opinions with me in the comment section.  
> Thank you.


End file.
